I was amazed at how many people want to open up about sex and understand their amazing body.  Hope this interview inspires you talk about your own experiences and dive deeper in to your potential as a human being.

Yours in the Tao,

Sarina

http://goo.gl/W9bHx

It’s so easy to spot someone who is avoiding intimacy.  Or is it?

Most of us think of avoidance as an outright refusal to participate in an activity or endeavor.  But if we really take a look at avoidance, we find it can be cloaked so many ways.

We make ourselves busy.  We surround ourselves with others and delve into their lives. We “work”.  We over commit.  We get too tired.  We get too wired.  We travel.  We get sick.  These are clever techniques to avoid the things that matter at home.

Exploring the world is a wonderful thing, but there’s no place like home, and if we do not do the work to maintain a healthy foundation with our partner, some day we may come home and find our cozy nest empty; even if our partner is physically there.

Avoiding that which makes us uncomfortable is human, and as we mature, we tend to get more creative in how we avoid confrontation.  So, lover beware.  Be careful not to let too much time go by without stopping to check in with your partner.  Set private time aside each week for each other.  Share your thoughts and ask your partner about theirs.  Listen.  Shut off the phone for a few hours.  Bond.

Making time for yourself and your partner is just as important as keeping your professional associations and commitments, so be mindful when creating your mental list of priorities.  Remember, at the end of the day you can’t hug your job.

Yours in the Tao,

Sarina

Dear Sarina

For the longest time I thought I was the easiest woman to get along with on the planet.  I’m the one all the guys tell their dating stories to because I usually commiserate with the male side of the story.  I am fiercely single.  I do not see myself as the neurotic female who brings up uncomfortable issues at midnight while lying in bed naked with her lover.  I never ask a man what he’s thinking (largely because I don’t care).   It would be out of the question to profess anything but appreciation for my lover, and would not entertain the notion of saddling a man with something silly like falling in love or asking for a commitment.

I am the “cool chick”; at least until recently.  Until now I have not been attached to the outcome of my romantic relationships.  Something, or rather some one, has changed that for me and I find myself in unfamiliar territory.  I care.

I find that with this wonderful care comes instability, passion, neuroticism, love, hate, frailty, distrust, and the most unattractive behavior.

I will absolutely bring up uncomfortable issues at midnight while my unsuspecting lover lies naked and vulnerable.  I have to fight not to ask what he’s thinking.  And frankly, I can wake up delighted with my romantic situation, be positive it’s all rubbish by mid day, and convinced we are star crossed lovers before bed.  I can do this without ever speaking to him.

No, I was not the “cool chick”.  I was the “safe chick”.  I was hoping you would publish this so all my vulnerable gal pals who make asses of themselves every day know I finally get it, and I’m sorry I judged them for being “chicks”.

Yours Truly,

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Your letter is being published on my website and I sincerely hope chicks around the world not only read it, but “get it!”

Yours in the Tao,

Sarina

The buzz amongst savvy, self-aware adults of the new millennia is The Law Of Attraction. If you haven’t heard, it conveys that people experience, on the physical plane, corresponding manifestations of their thoughts and feelings. It further states that, at the very core, we are all responsible for our experiences, planned, random or synchronistic, because the thought vibration creates matter, which the individual may interact with.  Basically, you make your bed and sleep in it.

As a child of the sixties, I remember the positive thinking movement. I knew people who associated positive outlook with positive outcome.  They read the works of great thinkers like William James (1842-1910), psychologist, philosopher, and founder of Pragmatism. He said, “We become what we think about most of the time.  The greatest revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”

Even in the book of Matthew we find a clue, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” and it will move.”

Although many believe this is a new technology, Siddhartha Gautama (born approx. 536BC) taught, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.  The mind is everything.  What we think, we become.”

In Egypt, perhaps as early as 5000BC, Hermetic philosophy taught the Principal of Mentalism, “Mind (as well as metals and elements) may be transmuted, from state to state; degree to degree; condition to condition; pole to pole; vibration to vibration.  True Hermetic Transmutation is a Mental Art.”

This tells us that this concept may have been floating around in humanity’s mind since the dawn of man. Perhaps even before.

I challenge you to suspend disbelief for a few minutes and allow yourself to see the synchronicities between what you think and what shows up.  Think back to a time when you were thinking about some one for a while and you actually saw them, or they called, or they wrote.  Remember a time when you just knew something was going to happen; and it did.  Now, close your eyes and just remember.

Q. What does this Principal of Mentalism or Law of Attraction have to do with romance and dating in the new millennium?

A.  Everything.

If it’s true that you are creating every moment of your life, then that means every romantic partner was custom ordered for you, by you.  If you like how things are going, there’s no need to fix what isn’t broken.  You have clean, harmonious thoughts in regards to the subject.  If you don’t like how things are going, know that the journey to transformation starts in the mind.  The mind started this whole thing, and only the mind can change it.  Thank goodness, you are the only one who can change your mind.

Wouldn’t that just be the easiest key to your problems ever?  Think about it, change your mind, and change your life.  Voila.  Sure!  Just pop out of bed tomorrow morning an enlightened being. It’s easy!  All you have to do is see the beauty in everyone and everything.  Bend like a reed; don’t push back.  Don’t be concerned about how people look, concern yourself with what’s inside.  Have no fear.  Trust people to be who they are.  Open your heart to the world.  No?   Easier said than done?

Although life is best viewed as a journey, it is healthy to create conscious pit stops of growth on the road.  You won’t bask long in the glory of reaching one of these destinations, but each one makes highs higher the lows higher, too.

First, build a foundation.  Begin to change the outside by cleaning up the inside. Learn to be aware of the most basic self by learning to pay attention to the body and the messages it shares.  This body houses your brain and it’s balance effects how you think.

Many cultures have methods by which harmony and healthy body ecology may be attained.  The Tao, or Way of Nature, is one of the simple paths, which anyone, even children, can walk with ease.  Simple exercises passed down over 5000 years from practitioner to practitioner help the mind connect with the body and then allow for conscious change.  Just imagine, and it is yours.